Goodnight
by M. F. Luder
They sit in the lounge of the school, coffees in their hands.
Seth talks with Zach about yesterday's new comic, about the energy Batman showed when he fought with a new villain and Ryan can't help but smile, head tilted as he observed them.
He takes a small sip of his coffee and when Seth turns around and looks at him, Ryan ducks his head, cheeks blushing.
Skipping beads, flashing jeeps
I am struggling
Daydreaming, it seems if the corner cafe
And I'm left in bed covered in tectonic, trembling
You get me everytime
Controller in hand, Ryan leans to the side, trying to force his car to take the right curve slower and with more ease than it appears on the screen. He falls behind as Seth's car speeds up in the last hundred feet and he arrives at the finish line second.
Seth cheers, controller falling down as he raises his arms over his head, bouncing to the music of the background.
Ryan turns around and looks at him out of the corner of his eye.
He should be resentful that he lost in a game he usually wins, but he's not. Ryan doesn't think he could resent Seth for anything.
When Seth chuckles, shaking his head as he enjoys his victory, Ryan can't do anything but laugh with him.
Why'd you have to be so cute
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go
Seth's lying on the bed, hands folded on his chest, eyes closed. The TV is still turned on, the volume low. Ryan checks his watch. It's after midnight, no surprise Seth fell asleep while watching TV.
Shaking his head at one of Seth's traits, he walks into the room and clicks the TV off. He moves to the side of the bed, reaching for the remote on Seth's side. He places it on top of the nightstand.
A small smile plays on his lips as he cocks his head and stares at Seth's sleeping form.
Seth's face is relaxed, a lock of his hair over his forehead. Ryan leans over and brushes the curl back. He pauses, hand stilling as he dares to touch Seth's cheek with his fingertips. He breathes in, his heart racing as he can feel his other hand trembling.
Ryan lets out a shaky sigh as his fingers move down to Seth's chin. Seth stirs and Ryan feels his chest tighten as he stares at Seth's eyes, wondering if they'll open.
They don't and Ryan can breathe with more ease.
Closing his eyes, he touches Seth's lips for a second, pain in his chest making him wince even as he feels more love inside him than he has ever felt before.
A second later, he pulls away and opens his eyes. Seth's still sleep, eyes closed to the world and Ryan's doubt.
Ryan pulls the cover up over Seth's chest. Seth shifts, turning to his side. With one last glance at Seth, Ryan smiles and turns around, walking out of the bedroom.
Follow you home
You've got your headphones on
And the dancing
Got lucky, beautiful shot
You're taking everything off
Watch the curtains, wide open
And you fall in the same routine
Flicking through the TV
Relax down, reclining
And you think you're alone
Ryan leans against the side of the counter as Seth walks down the hallway, eyeing the comics.
It's part of their routine on Wednesdays. Nothing new as Seth glances at an issue of Batman he doesn't have and picks it up.
Ryan grins, turning around and pretending to be interested in the new issue of Nightwing. He shrugs nonchalantly, moving down the hallway as his eyes fall on one of the early issues of Robin. One Ryan's certain Seth doesn't have.
He grins and turns around to look where Seth is at the moment. Seth's too entertained with some of the posters to notice Ryan making his way to the front desk and handing the comic to the man.
With only a few words Ryan explains how he can't buy it right now, but gives the man a fifty and tells him to save it for him. Ryan'll return tomorrow without Seth, and buy it for him.. Kind of an early birthday present.
Why'd you have to be so cute
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go
Ryan sighs, throwing his head back as he leans against the headboard of his bed, eyes closed. He's tired to the bone and even if he wasn't, he doesn't think he could go through one more chapter of Physics. Not this late, not after four days of studying the damn subject.
He feels the bed dipping and when he opens his eyes, Seth's lying down across the bed, head hanging back over the edge, arms wide. One of Seth's hands is draped over Ryan's knee, his own legs folded.
Ryan can't help but smile.
Ryan's fingers itch to reach out and touch his hand, to intertwine his fingers with Seth. He bites down the inside of his cheek and does nothing.
Instead, he closes his book and places it on the nightstand. They've done more than enough studying for the night.
He glances at the clock on the nightstand as he does so. Almost two in the morning. He can't believe they've been studying since three o’clock yesterday.
Shifting one leg, Ryan nudges Seth on his calf with his feet. Seth opens one eye, peering at Ryan. Seth grins. Ryan grins back. Seth nods, moving slowly, visibly tired.
Ryan's certain Seth will pick up his books and make his way to his bedroom, but once again, Seth surprises Ryan.
Seth leans forward, pushing his History books down to the floor, not caring about them at all. He shifts once again, lying down on the right side of the bed, his face toward Ryan.
Ryan frowns, looking down at Seth and takes the hint. He picks up his notebook as well and places it over the book. He doesn't take off his clothes, too tired for that, as Seth. He lies down on his side as well, facing Seth.
They smile at one another and silently, they fall asleep.
Next morning, not certain how or who reached first, Ryan wakes up to find his hand intertwined with Seth's, his head on Seth's chest. Neither of them say anything about it. Neither of them seems to mind.
One of these days
You'll miss your train, and come stay with me
It's always say goodnight and go
We'll have dreams and talk about things
And any excuse to stay awake with you
You'd sleep here, I'd sleep there
But then the heating may be down again
At my convenience
We'd be good, we'd be great together
Go
Ryan leans back on the couch, arm sliding along the back. He glances at Seth in between scenes of the movie, having seen it more than a hundred times already.
Seth was in the mood to watch the fall of Helm's Deep. Ryan was in the mood to humor him.
Seth grins when Legolas shows up, cheering for Aragorn to kill more uruk-hais, laughing when Legolas tells Gimli he's killed more people than him so far.
Seth knows the words by memory by now. Ryan does as well, though he'll never tell Seth.
Seth scoots to the edge of the couch, leaning forward as he rests his elbows on his knees when Legolas tries to take down the uruk-hais that takes the torch to the small passage at the bottom of the wall.
Seth always liked that scene. Ryan always liked watching Seth during that scene.
Once again, Legolas can't take down the man and the wall explodes. Seth sighs, almost disappointed and Ryan smiles at Seth's passion each time they watch this movie.
Aragorn saves Gimli as Seth leans back against the couch, relaxed now.
Ryan looks down at Seth as Seth smiles up at him.
Without saying anything, Seth leans against Ryan's side, head on Ryan's shoulder. Ryan stiffens in surprise, but a moment later he relaxes as well. His hand falls down onto Seth's shoulder.
Why is it always you
Darling not again
Goodnight and GoWhen Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli and King Theoden ride out to meet them, to meet their fate, Seth looks up at Ryan. Ryan tilts his head, smiling.
Seth's eyes gaze into Ryan's, asking a question. Ryan doesn't know what to say. Seth waits. Ryan realizes there's nothing to say.
Seth doesn't hesitate as he leans forward and kisses Ryan. Ryan's eyes close at the touch and he kisses him back, his hand moving to Seth's cheek.
They sigh, kiss and love each other.
Neither sees the light in the east on the morning of the fifth day. Neither cares because it had always been about them.
Imogen Heap - "Goodnight and Go"
Finished: March 7th, 2005.