Let me touch you
by M. F. Luder
Ryan lets out a soft sigh, left hand under the pillow, eyes wide as he lies down on their bed.
It's past midnight and the night is dark. He can recognize the shapes and forms of every item in the room. The dresser, the closet door, the nightstand, the pictures on the wall and the clothes lying messily on top of the chair in the corner beside the already filled hanger.
Seth's sleeping beside him, on his right side and facing him. Ryan can only watch him.
Ryan recognizes when Seth's sleeping pattern, familiar as his own breathing. He knows the rising and falling of Seth's chest by heart, the relaxed eyelids closed over the most beautiful brown eyes he had ever seen.
Meanwhile, Ryan's eyes won't close and his mind won't settle for the night. It's not often he can't sleep, but when it does happen, he watches Seth.
He raises his hand, moving to the boy's messy curls that won't settle early in the morning. He touches the tip of silky hair, tangling a lock around his index finger, very much like Seth has Ryan wrapped around his own.
His hand moves down to Seth's bare shoulder as he rests nude, white blanket only up to his hip. Strong shoulders that have endured seven years with Ryan.
Fingertips that don't really touch lower than the collarbone Seth broke freshmen year when he fell down the stairs. Scared the hell out of Ryan, and had never before felt so vulnerable than when the image of losing Seth became visible.
He feels a whisper of hair on Seth's chest and Ryan smiles. Solid chest he leans against while watching movies on the couch, arms wrap around him that make him feel like he has a place in the world simply by being at Seth's side.
The palm of his hand is placed against Seth's waist and it seems to fit. Made for his hand and his hand alone. Countless times he has held Seth, stood with him. A hand that had rested there to lead Seth into the house, into the theater or into a class.
He pushes the sheet down and it pools at Seth's knees.
Hips Ryan has bruised, marked with his very own fingertips as they took each other, as they blended into one and shared passionate kisses. As Ryan claimed Seth his own, and Seth possessed Ryan entirely.
Ryan closes his eyes, hand moving down Seth's legs and staying on mid thigh. He lets out a soft sigh. Perfect ivory skin that belongs to no one else. Ivory skin that succumbs under Ryan's lips and hands.
Ryan leans down and covers Seth's lips with a tender kiss that makes Ryan's heart stop and start beating all in one second. Seth sighs into the kiss. Ryan smiles, parting away, eyes opening and letting out a breath against Seth's cheek.
His places his leg over Seth's, pulling him close, their bodies fitting together. He throws an arm around Seth's shoulder, hand pressing on his lower back.
He rests his forehead against Seth's, noses touching, and he breathes in. When he closes his eyes, Ryan can breathe easier, and his mind seems to settle for the night. His hand moves to Seth's waist, touching his hip again, fingertips on soft skin, making a pattern that he doesn't recognize, but knows he has made over this very same spot before.Seth shifts in his sleep, pulling their groins together, but both are too tired to do more than find comfort in one another, and when Ryan's hand relaxes where Seth's hip meets his thigh, Seth sighs into Ryan's neck, and Ryan sleeps.
Finished: May 30th, 2004. 11.12am